Eight years ago, I was diagnosed with a chronic pain syndrome called Fibromyalgia. It triggers pain when no pain is present and it causes over dramatic inflammation in the whole body along with whole a list of other symptoms. There’s no single cause, and unfortunately it isn’t something you can get rid of. But thankfully, it is something you can manage and with time and the right practices, you can feel normal again.
Funnily enough, I’m writing this now in quite a lot of pain, but it doesn’t stop me from doing what I want to do. It’s as much about your mental state as it is your physical one.
Some days I feel completely wiped out, with a swollen back and shoulders. Other days, I feel totally normal. It’s a difficult thing to live with because making plans can feel uncertain, you never quite know how you’re going to feel. Fibromyalgia is an invisible illness. I can get up, do my hair and makeup, and look absolutely fine but deep down not feel it at all. That’s really what pushed me to turn my life around and take my wellness seriously.
Sometimes it takes a big wake up call to realise you need to look after yourself and that’s exactly what I did.
I used to be quite unhealthy, drinking a lot and living like a typical teenager. It wasn’t until my early-mid 20s that I realised something needed to change. I remember walking into a wellness centre in Richmond a few years ago and thinking, what better place to work than somewhere that encourages you to take care of your body? It felt like the right environment to learn and grow.
Around the same time, a new Pilates studio opened nearby. I was so curious, so I booked a class and I loved it – I had so much fun! From there, I started doing mat Pilates at home with YouTube and got hooked – I was doing Yoga at the time but for someone who is also hyper-mobile, I needed something that encouraged control of the body, rather than falling into over extending positions. Eventually, I came to RE:FORM and tried a 1:1 session with Emily, which I absolutely loved. Sadly she’s no longer at the studio as she’s had a baby, but it definitely planted the seed for me to come back.
Fast forward a couple of years and I realised I wanted to learn more. Pilates fascinated me, I honestly couldn’t believe I hadn’t discovered it sooner.
I decided to interview for the Studio Manager role at RE:FORM after working here as a receptionist. I was still very new to reformer Pilates but I was so keen to immerse myself in everything Pilates, so alongside working at the studio, I booked myself in to do some sessions. And I am so glad I did.
That’s when I really started to learn about my body, things I had no idea about before. My hips were so misaligned that when instructors corrected me putting me ‘straight’ I felt so wonky! I remember after my first session thinking, what is this? And do I keep going? I felt nervous, out of my depth and honestly a bit silly when I made mistakes.
But I kept going.
Now I try to do Pilates at least once a week, alongside running and some home workouts. It still challenges me but I feel taller, stronger and more balanced. Of course, I still have days where it feels like I’ve taken two steps back, but I remind myself that consistency is key. I’ve stayed consistent and I am really proud of that.
Pilates has helped me manage my chronic back pain, trapped nerves and migraines. More importantly it has helped my mindset, because when you’re in pain it can affect everything. I’ve built a much stronger mind body connection, something I never had before. My mum used to say I ‘flopped around’ because I had no control over my limbs, I was clumsy and always hurting myself. Now things feel different. And people are noticing the change in me. I don’t get the same ankle pain when I walk, which used to be constant and my overall pain is so much more managed. I’ve been focusing on ankle strength, upper back strength, spinal strength and realigning my hips. Some sessions are gentle and stretchy, others are stronger and more challenging, but the key is that I keep showing up. I’m building strength and balance in my body in a way that feels sustainable.
(And I can now stand on one foot and tie my shoelaces without falling over, which is definitely a win!)
It’s such a valuable thing to do at my age, 29, and something I want to continue for life, even on days I don’t feel like I want too. After all I fully intend on being a very strong old lady.
If you haven’t tried it yet, this is your sign.
Go get em.
Aaliyah x
